After that first traumatizing night, I felt as if the light was going to save me from these beings. This was not the case. There were a few times that I had these experiences with the lights on, but they were much fewer than those nights when I wasn't able to have light. My mother can probably remember a bunch of times that I awoke her in the middle of the night by screaming. I wonder if she can ever remember seeing my eyes? Sure she could probably see the terror in them, but had she ever noticed something else? Numerous times when having these nightmares I hadn't been sleeping at all previous to the encounter! Many nights I just lied there in bed not making any noise at all, because I didn't want anyone/anything to know I was there. I also never made any noise because I wanted to be able to hear where these beings were located. Sure my mom probably saw the terror in my eyes but did she ever notice how awake and alert I was? I wonder if she can remember ever thinking "hey, this kid wasn't asleep" or "he for sure doesn't look like he has sleep in his eyes"? I was always told by adults that it was in my mind. It was just my imagination. The things I was seeing weren't real. I remember staying at my grandpa and grandma Goodwin's one night. I think I was probably 6 or 7 years old. I was sleeping on the couch and I had already snuck up and turned on a light. The light must have been noticed by my grandfather because he confronted me about it. I remember him being so angry that I was afraid of the dark. I remember his exact words he used in his obvious rage,"Nonsense"! There were many nights that my mom was awoken by my screaming. There were more nights that she never knew about because I felt like there was something wrong with me, so I was able to hold in the terror night after night. This next night was when I realized that it wasn't just my imagination.
I was probably no older than 7 years of age when I had this experience. I don't know if we were living with my uncle in my grandma's house or if I was just staying there on this night? Regardless, I was alone in a bed in the back room. I was able to have the light on in this room because it was one of them dimmer kind of light switches. I had the light on just enough that it didn't get noticed. Thus I felt safe and was probably going to have a good nights rest. I remember waking up hearing my dog growling. I honestly don't remember how I managed to keep my eyes shut, but I was able to hide the fact that I was awake. In between the growls from my dog (who was a small Pomeranian, so any protection she felt she could provide wasn't going to be hardly any) I could hear this being beside the bed right next to my dog! There was a raspy heavy breathing coming from this being/creature that was right beside the bed. This thing that was in the room had to be no taller than 4 feet. Unless it was hunched down, because the sound escaping from it wasn't from up high. It sounded honestly as if it were just taller than the bed itself. The bedroom door was shut and my dog wasn't growling loudly enough to wake anyone. I remember lying there motionless just wanting to pull the covers over my head. Suddenly someone from another room had awakened. I heard a door from another room open! At that very moment I heard this being turn it's head toward the door. It had made a "huh" sound acknowledging that it too had heard this. I didn't scream for whomever had woken, but I did find the courage to hurry and pull the covers over my exposed head. This is when I heard the being turn toward me with the same "huh" gasp. Nobody entered my room from another, it was someone waking up to use the restroom. My dog shortly stopped growling and I was able to peek out from under the covers. The door never opened so I don't know why I was peering out, maybe because my dog had stopped growling? I scanned the room and saw nothing/nobody else in the room except Refer and me. Yes my dog's name was refer. The closet had no door on it and I could see there was nobody in there. The door to the room didn't have a door knob, but it was apparent when opening or shutting this door. At the time I imagined the creature escaping through the hole in the door where the knob was supposed to be. I didn't tell anyone about what happened the next day because I had known by then that they wouldn't believe me.
I think that this last story was the last time that I ever screamed from being in such terror. I was probably ten years old. My mom was at work, it was a Thursday night. I remember what day of the week it was because every Thursday my uncle babysat me. My mom would pick me up at the end of her shift and we would go home. My uncle Donald was asleep on the couch that was at a right angle across the room from the couch that I was lying on. I say lying, because never on this night did I fall asleep before my mom arrived. I believe the television or the hall light was on so I was happy and felt extra safe with my uncle being in the same room. The couch I was laying on was length wise as the front door was opened. Thus if you were to walk through the front door you would walk right into the side of the couch. It was probably about 5 feet from the door itself, but the picture should be easy to see. My aunt had this siamese cat named Charlie. He was the weirdest cat. If you allowed him to lay on you with a blanket in between the two of you he would kneed while sucking on the blanket? On this particular night that is exactly what he was doing. I was petting the cat while he was kneading and sucking on the blanket. It was an old blanket, not a quilt, that had a million fuzzballs. His favorite! He was having a hay day sucking on the fuzz of this blanket while I scratched his ears and petted him. I was laying on my back with my feet away from the front door, thus I couldn't see the front door. Charlie who was on my stomach was able to see the front door no problem. The front door never opened, but for some reason Charlie stopped kneading and his eyes widened. I stopped petting him as his eyes grew more black and I could see something was scaring him. He tore a few holes in my stomach as leaped over the back of the couch and ran down the hallway. At this moment of course I can sense what in my mind is evil just above my head out of my view. I lay there motionless. Again, the front door never opened. I then hear a deep heavy breathing from a being that is standing in between the couch and the front door. I force myself deep into the couch as I start screaming. In that one sinking/screaming motion I tried to catch a glimpse the best as I could by arching my back and looking up, but nothing. I awake my uncle who was lying on the couch next to mine, of course he saw nothing. My aunt too stumbles in from the back room to see what was going on. I think that was the last time I ever screamed from a nightmare because I knew that nobody but me was able to see or hear these beings.
The actual moment when these things happened to me filled me with such fear. It felt as if my body was being flushed with an intense and instant heat. I imagine that it was adrenaline entering my blood at such a rate and amount that I could actually feel it.
I am sharing these stories because Toni (my cousin's wife) was talking to me about sleep disorders while they were visiting. I guess she has actually been tested for some sleep disorders and actually has one. We didn't talk long, because she received a phone call, but I could sense she doubted whether I had actually seen these things or not. She says that they were just hallucinations, I hadn't shared these stories with her because the talk was cut off, but I informed her that I know the difference between real and not! At this time in my life I have sleep paralysis like I mentioned in the previous blog. It causes hallucinations, and she believes I have a sleeping disorder. I don't doubt that I do in fact have a sleeping disorder, but there are nights when this paralysis has such an overwhelming evil presence that I believe it is these beings from my past still haunting me. I believe that I have matured past the point of seeing these apparitions, but they know that I am still vulnerable at certain times. So, unless I have the ability to project these hallucinations in such a way that they can be seen by dogs and cats, how can you explain these beings are in fact just that "hallucinations"?
