The Last

This last Friday was the last week of my mom's chemo treatment. I am excited for her, and know that everything is going to be fine. She is to then have surgery in a few weeks to a little over a month, once her body is strong enough. I am sad that I wasn't ever with her to help take care of her during this time in her life. I know that in some instances she is thankful that I didn't see her, but I know had she experienced a single day with the shoe on the other foot, she would have wanted me there.
My parents were divorced when I was five years old or so, and my mother gained custody of me. My dad hardly paid child support, and my mom worked many jobs, mostly as a waitress. She would of course work more than one job at a time, but she always let it be known that she loved me. She wouldn't only say it, but being grown up now I know that she showed it a lot more.
Having a child of your own is a love that a person cannot imagine until it happens. Even though I wasn't a planned child and even considered for abortion, I know that she doesn't regret keeping me. Sure her life might have been better had I not come into existence, but she might have never gained the knowledge of such a love for a child. I was an only child, and with how busy my mom was with raising me, I know why she never returned to the procreation fountain. She worked long hours, and I didn't see her all that often. I never felt neglected, and I hope that she knows that I never ever felt that way. Even though we were never well off, I always had what I wanted. I am for sure sorry for wanting so many things now mom!
My mom would tell you that I was an angel growing up. I did not hardly ever get into trouble, which is amazing considering how my uncle's grew up. I say this because they were the ones that babysat me most of the time. I know that I was probably pretty easy to take care of, but I am sorry for the times that I wasn't. I am sorry for any day that she was disappointed in me. She is a good person who has lived a hard life. It is sad when you think about bad people who have lived good lives. I would like to think of myself as a good person, a good person who has lived a good life. I wouldn't have been a good person if it wasn't for my mother. And I for sure wouldn't have lived a good life if it hadn't been for her as well. I have begged since she moved to Seattle to move back, but that is the selfish child in me. I want my mommy! I think that I have almost worn her down. I am also sorry for that mom, for always making you feel bad for moving away. If you are better off there, then please stay. I have always gotten what I wanted and I am so thankful for that, but don't give in if it is just for me. Come home if it is what you want.