9 years, and Happy Birthday today to Josh

Most people would think of me as a nice guy. I believe there are a lot of people who have met me that look up to me for the kind of person I am. I am genuine, witty, not horribly ugly and I have a good heart. Most of those people don't see me in moments of life when I am a jerk who is unwilling to hear anything you have to say. There are three times when I act in accordance with the way I just described. One time is probably everyday!
I am not a morning person, I might have mentioned in previous blogs, but I hate waking up. Sleep is great and it is not a time of simply resting for me, it is a time when I dream. I watch a ton of movies and can predict how the ending is, who is going to be doing what and yadda yada yada. Dreams can make no sense to a person after they wake up and reflect back, but during the dream it is another story. Everything seems to make sense no matter how ridiculous. This is the main reason I love sleep. It is as though I am not only watching a movie sometimes, but I am a main character in a movie that is never predictable. I hate the fact that a body needs rest, there are times that I would rather not sleep, but you can't fight the need your body has for sleep. If I don't dream during the night I feel as though I have been robbed. I wake up feeling as though I went to a movie theater and watched nothing for hours. I hate the feeling of being groggy and weak upon waking up. Sleep is a waste of time in my book, but is obviously needed. So, when I am asleep I dream. Most of the time I have dreams that are so far fetched that Stephen King would love them for material. I have actually written down ideas from these dreams for maybe someday writing a book or two. Growing up I mentioned having nightmares. I wasn't asleep during these episodes and that is probably another reason I like sleep so much. Sleeping as a child meant that I wasn't awake in the scary night where the boogeyman lives. It is as though I don't care what happens to me when I am asleep. I have been awoke from sleep many times by strange noises and in my mind I think it could be a robber, a murderer or someone really bad along those same lines. I might lay there for a second wondering if I should check out what it was, but then I think it is okay I don't care if he/she kills me in my sleep? How horrible is that? Those times have since changed since being married and having Triton. I check the house when I hear strange noises and make sure everything is alright. Anyway, I am not a morning person. When I am forced to get up I don't want to be spoken to. I don't want anyone in the bathroom when I have to go in there in the morning. I don't even like to speak if I have to. Most responses are just grunts and dirty looks. Thus, you can see that most people never see you in the morning, so how could they see you at your worst. My worst isn't because I am ugly from waking up, but because I am ugly in mind when waking up. Sheri has to see me like this basically everyday!
Another time when I am not a nice person is when I am playing any sort of game and I lose. I am a great winner. I won't rub the fact that you lost in your face. I will be most happy to shake your hand and say that you were a worthy opponent. I will even say you were good even if you never had a shot to beat me. It is a completely different story when I lose. This trait is usually brought on by having brothers or sisters growing up. I never did have brothers and sisters. I was an only child and I never had any other kids around for the most part unless it was at school. My cousins lived with us when I was 11 or 12, but before that nobody. Of course I was around them and other cousins and friends, but never was I forced to be around them continually until then. So, why I have this ugly quality is beyond me. I just know that I like to be the best and hate to lose. I blame most of my losses on the fact that my opponent is or was extremely lucky! This might be the case in a few instances, but that is just an excuse most of the time. I will become quiet and say things under my breath to where I know that you would be able to hear. I make sure they are things that make you feel as though you were the luckiest person ever! Or, that I was the most unluckiest person to have lost to you! Sheri has not only seen me act this way and has to hear it all the time when I vent to her about it, but she has also been on the receiving end as well.
The last time that I am not a nice person seems to be those days that I just wake up on the wrong side of bed! It is as though there are those days when everything irritates me. Nothing you could do or say is right and for sure won't make me feel better. If I am in one of these moods it is better that you just find some other place to be. These days are rare. I like to just lock myself away and not be around anyone on these days. These given days are maybe one or twice a year. What brings them on I have no idea. Sheri, I hate to say has probably seen me in these moods more than anyone else ever has.
Sheri is a beautiful loving woman who has put up with my crap and still loves me! She has seen me at my worst, and will continue to be the only person who will experience the most ugliness that is Jason. She will love me no matter what! I have no clue why? Maybe I got extremely lucky and found the most beautiful dumb girl in the world. I mean you would have to be dumb to put up with me. She does this on a daily basis and doesn't bat an eye! I would like to think that I trained her well. I think it stems from what she has experienced from me that no one else has seen and that is the loving side of me. Everyone will see the worst in themselves, but never the best. I think highly of myself as a person. I have a beautiful smile that could brighten any one's day. I can be caring, gentle and joke with you in your worst times. I can help others to have better days when they wake up grumpy. I know that all the good things I think about myself don't compare with the good things that Sheri thinks about me. I can say in a blog about how she is dumb and she will love me for it? Many friends and family read this but she won't care. Sheri has put up with me for this long, and I have no doubt that in two days when our 9 year anniversary hits that we will still be together.
She has been around me in my most happy times. She has been the one to experience the most nice Jason. This Jason only exists in her mind and if I were ever confronted about being nice I will deny all. I am a man and have no soft parts. I will not share how much I love Sheri with all of you. I won't even share this with her, because after nine years why would anything else be different. I just hope that she puts up with me for at least another 9!