Everything and Still Lost

This is going to be a long blog. I haven't written for while and feel like going on and on tonight. First of all I am just going to jot some golf goals down for this year, so mom you might want to skip reading this part. It is basically for me to remember and keep in the back of my mind this golf season. I have loved the game of golf for many years now, but I really haven't improved. I have scored good here and there, but I have never had a swing that I was really confident with. I ended this last year with a handicap of 11.3 or something like that. That is a really good handicap considering my swing was horrible. In the winter months I am stuck in the house peering through the windows just hoping for the snowy months to fly by. This winter and every winter I watch golf on the television and think of how to improve. I start the new year with a new swing and hope that it is better than the previous year. This has indeed worked the past two years. My handicap was extra horrible three years ago at 22. I have been so frustrated that I have taken a lesson or two from the local pro shop pros. I have taken probably 4 lessons in the past three years and only one tip has helped and it really didn't improve my score because it was my swing that was the most wrong and not too much on the grip. This was what the local pro helped me with one day. He said my grip was wrong and indeed it was, but my swing is what I wanted to fix. I took another lesson about a year later and again no real help? Two separate pros saw my swing, tried to get me to think about this and that, but ultimately said I had a nice swing.
I am a person who can usually figure puzzles and problems out on my own. I feel that the golf swing is a puzzle that I haven't been able to figure out. If you were to think about the golf swing as a jigsaw puzzle you would see that I have the border taken care of, much of the picture is even filled in as well! However in the process of putting the pieces together I had lost a few and even forced some pieces into incorrect spots. After watching golf on the telly these winter months I am sure that I found the pieces that I kicked under the couch and most important I noticed how these pieces fit into the spots of other pieces that I forced into the wrong spots. So, I am confident that I will be a better golfer this year. I have some goals that I think are attainable with this new swing.
I would first of all like to drop my handicap down to at least a 6.5. I want to get at least 10 eagles this year. That is a lofty goal considering I have only gotten one in my life before. As well I want to shoot par at least 5 times. I have never shot par on 18 holes. I have done it before on a front or a back 9, but never a full round. If my swing is going to be as good as I think it is, then this 5 rounds of par shouldn't be a problem at all. I usually golf with my Uncle Henry and he isn't too bad a golfer, but is too stubborn to take a lesson. He will never improve to anything better than what he is now and that is a 13.1 handicap. He is lucky to have that low of a handicap and I know I have mentioned how lucky he is in the past. This year it isn't going to matter how lucky he is. If my new swing works the way I hope, then all the luck in the world isn't going to help him win! Thus my last goal is to not lose a single round to him all year. I am not going to tell him about this goal because I find that a bit rude. Him and I play skins for only a dime a hole. This last year I won enough money to make up for his hole in ones and eagles that he slopped in. I have told him this year I am not going to bet him the simple dime a hole like usual. I informed him that if we play skins we have to do it fair. In order to do it fair we have to introduce handicap differences into the mix. Thus, if I have a handicap of 9 and his is at a 13, then I would have to give him 4 holes where he would have an extra stroke. So, if there is a par 4 where he has an extra stroke and he scores a par on that hole and I score a par as well, he would win the hole and the skin because he has that extra stroke. Those are my 4 golf goals for the year.
Drop to a 6.5 handicap.
Score 10 or more eagles.
Shoot par at least 5 times.
Never allow Henry to win.

I mentioned that my birthday was last month. Sheri was going to get me something, but it fell through. After opening my mom's present (Deron Williams, signed autograph, patch rookie card) we went to the card shop to purchase a Beckett. A Beckett lists the prices and values of pretty much any basketball card made. The card shop was closed so we went to Barnes and Noble to see if they had on there. They did in fact have one and I also wanted to see if they had this poker book in stock. It was a book that talks about how 20 of the top pros became who they are today and how they were introduced to poker. They didn't have this book and I was bummed. They did have this other book that I was also interested in, but decided to pass on purchasing it because of the price. It wasn't too much the price as much as it was I only wanted to read a certain part of the book and didn't feel like spending $35 on a 1000 page book to only read 190 pages. We left the book there and only got the Beckett. I found out that the card my mom got me was worth $80! That is a lot to spend on a card! Three years ago it was worth $150. I have no reason why it dropped so much in value, but I know that it will go up again. For one, Deron was voted into his first allstar game as a starter above Chris Paul who's same card is worth $300! He isn't as good as Deron and he has been injured for the past 3 months, so I don't know why his card is still worth so much? It has dropped to $300 from $400 three years ago. Anyway, back to this poker book. Many of my friends think that I am a good poker player. I thought that I was good and understood a lot of the game, but I knew I wasn't as good as they thought I was. Sheri had a doctor's appointment the day after we picked up the Beckett. I texted her and asked if she would stop by Barnes and Noble to pick up that book after all. Barnes and Noble is across town and her doctor's office is on that side as well. I am not a person who likes to spend money, but I figured that if this poker book didn't help me then it would be the last one that I ever bought. I have bought many books on poker and most have said the same thing. I started to read the section of this book that I thought might improve my knowledge of the game and I am glad I decided to have Sheri buy the book. It has helped me so much. Of all the books I have read and studied these 190 pages of this book helped me the most. My poker confidence is at an all time high. I haven't taken too much time to play because I don't like it taking away from family life, but the few times I have played it has worked. I have a goal in poker now as well. I have mentioned that I win money online, but as soon as I win enough I start losing. I think as soon as I hit a number where I know I have enough to buy something nice for Sheri or maybe a new bowling ball for myself I start losing and cash out so I can buy those gifts. I don't necessarily lose on purpose, but subconsciously I think I might. I see that money and I want it. Well, I cashed out a bunch and used it all and more to buy Sheri's Christmas. I paid to have a remote start installed in her car. It is way nice to not have to step into the freezing cold to start the car and let it warm up. As well it is going to be nice in the summer to start it and let the A/C cool it off for a bit before getting in it as well.
I mentioned that I had run 4 websites up and just over $80. I probably have posted about poker since then because I did indeed find a way to lose some and I cashed out money on 3 of the 4 sites. I would have cashed out on all 4, but I didn't have enough on one of them to do so. I cashed out all but around $10 on three of the four sites. I like to leave myself some money to try to run back up after losing or cashing out. I left myself $16 on Pokerstars, that is now at $22. I was down to $3.50 on Doylesroom, that is now over $150, but $20 of that was from bonuses that I earned and for some reason they gave me another $60? Of course I didn't complain about the $60 who would? I left myself $9.54 on UltimateBet and that is all gone, so I have nothing on that site.
I wasn't able to cash out on Fulltilt because you needed $100 to do so and I only had $93. I tried to get that last $7, but wasn't able to. I in fact became so upset that I was ready to lose it all and start all over. I lost all but $15 of that $93. I have played here and there, but wasn't able to get it over $60. I would run it up to $77 and lose it back down to $34. It would come back to $60 and that seemed to be the constant. This was up until I read this book. With this new style I have only had one losing day out of 8 or 9. I was up to $80 or something like that and had my first losing day which dropped me down to $60 as a low. I hate being down from a high and I also hate being stuck on a certain number ($60). I played the next night and won my money back from the losing session and have an all time high on Fulltilt of $111.00. I have been winning with this new style and my goal is to win $100 a month on online poker. If it wasn't for Doylesroom making a mistake and giving me $60 I would have had my first losing month on online poker in over a year for January.
With this new style of playing I am sure that $100 a month will be easy. The only thing I have to do is play. I am afraid of losing. Thus if I am up even a little bit for a night I quit! Like tonight. I played for about 19 minutes and won $4. I quit playing even though I had a bunch of time to play. I hate being a chicken! That last losing session I had when I lost almost $30 I had to force myself to quit playing. I was tired and wasn't playing smart. I won my money back the next night in a little over an hour and quit. I was happy with being even or a little bit above. This is something I need to fix. If I can just keep playing I know I will win. That is why I am going to have this goal of $100 a month. If I have a goal I will want to accomplish it. I have almost made the $100 for February, but I will need to make up for January's loses throughout the year as well. I need to keep playing even if I am winning. I have already won enough to pay for the book. I am obviously glad that I bought the book, but one thing that I won't let poker do is take away from family time. I hardly ever play poker at home. I go and play a live game once a week with another uncle of mine, but other than that it doesn't take away from time with Sheri or Triton.
Sheri is the best wife, she understands my love for poker and golf. She understands that those two subjects alone dominate a lot of my thoughts. She not only allows me to indulge in these activities, but she also supports me. I bother her about how I am so unlucky at both. I show her my new thoughts about my golf swing and she helps my by listening and agreeing with me if I am right. I do want you to also know Sheri that even though you constantly see me shadow golfing or telling you about poker all of the time that I do think about you a little bit too. I have hopefully shown you how much I do love and think about you by not playing poker at home. By not going golfing twice a day in the summer. I want you to also know that when I am taking part in these activities that I am constantly thinking of you and wishing that I hadn't gone. When I am with you I may be thinking of golfing or poker, but when I am golfing or playing poker I am thinking of you!
So, on with Lost. I am all caught up with the world and am forced to wait week to week now to see new episodes! This last season has only answered one of my questions. I am kind of disappointed to see this new season playing out with a Matrix type of feel. It seems as if there is/has been a competition between The Architect and The Oracle. Jacob and this other character? Maybe it is just me, who knows? I guess we will see. Season 4 was not too good. I liked Season 3 the best and season 5 wasn't too bad either. I still am wondering about the stupid Dharma thing and one other scene that was shown at the beginning of season 3, I wonder if they forgot to tie that up and never will? There was a scene where Jack was watching Juliet from the comfort of his car and it looked like Juliet was a teacher leaving a school? That hasn't made sense yet. As well as the Jin thing where he seemed to be alive and well, away from Sun while he should have been on the island? I think those are the only questions that I have besides the new one about the temple and the huge statue that is only a foot now? If those questions are never answered then Lost blows! I have all of those questions still looming and the only one that I wondered about that has been answered is the one about the monster.